Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
What drink are we having for lunch?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize