My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
