Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
