Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
