Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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