i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
