My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
