Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I supernannyed him into submission
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
