i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
