I'm lost and stupid without you.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Help me help you realize you are a moron
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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