Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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