y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
