I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
