question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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