So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
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Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
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CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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