Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
