I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
