He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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