they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I understand Curling. That high.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
