do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.