the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
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u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
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Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.