You smell like stripper and shame
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?