All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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