What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
