Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
