My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i was born a porn star she said
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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