Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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