Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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