i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
