Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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