PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
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Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
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As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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