shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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