only if we run a train.
done.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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