This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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