ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
