He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
