I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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