and my herpes radar will keep us safe
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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