And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
