you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
