"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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