My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I can't turn off my feet"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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