So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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