hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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