so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
