We're facebook friends in real life
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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