I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
