kristin has been a bad kristin
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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