I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
