i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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