she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
