is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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