I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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