U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
