So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
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For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
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Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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