I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize