I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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