He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
