Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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